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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,985 Likes: 22 |
Dave,
Checking in a bit late here, but I can't keep up with JPF this time of the year as much as I'd like. I enjoyed your song, had a Jim Croce feel for me. I liked it, but also felt that the first vs rhymes may be improved, maybe less strong "o" rhymes? I wouldn't mind hearing a line or two demonstrating how the Ferry boat's demise paints a negative picture--make it more tragic, which will make the story more interesting to those unfamiliar with the circumstance.......just food for thought--keep or sweep.
You have a great sounding Demo here Dave--nice write!
steady-eddie
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