(Verse I)

When I go to bed in the evenin' (Sounds like you sing 'go DO bed'. Enunciating 'to' more deliberately might be better.)
And the darkness fills the room (Do you need 'And' to open this Line?)
I'm haunted by these feelings of being alone

(Verse II)

They say "Put one foot 'front of the other"
They say that "Time will heal the wounds" ('the' wounds is abstract. Can the Singer-Character 'own' it with 'your wounds'?)
But it's been so long now I wonder if that's gonna do (Can you delete 'But'? The word 'if' needs more enunciation. You seem to deliver the end of this Line as if it doesn't matter if they get the words or not. It matters.)

(Chorus?)

'Cause when you lose someone so precious (Can you delete 'Cause'?)
When you lose someone so dear
The aching and the longing
Never seem to disappear

(This third Stanza, above, is in the place where I would expect the Chorus. It has it's own Melody, is four Lines as opposed to the three-Line Verses preceding it.
But it seems to do more 'exposition' of the storyline, as expected in a Verse, and THE Hook, the title, isn't in it.
The first 'hit' on THE Hook is in a Verse III, below. It doesn't seem to be emphasized in position and Melody as THE gist of the storyline, the main idea of the Song.)

(Verse III)(This might work better as Verse I, opening the Song with THE Hook.)

I put a Brave Face on in the morning (Again, 'a Brave Face' is abstract. Owning it, 'my Brave Face' seems stronger.)
People talk to it all day
And if they notice anything wrong they just don't say (Delete 'And'?)

(Instrumental Bridge here seems out of place. The function of a Bridge is to break Repetition with Change, enabling a final giving of a Chorus. It usually follows a second giving of the Chorus, eliminating the need for a Verse III.)
(Flipping the Lines, as below, might be stronger. The words "When you lose someone...", Repeated, seem to emphasize that idea.)

The aching and the longing
Never seem to disappear
When you lose someone so precious
When you lose someone so dear

(Verse IV)

So I'll put my Brave Face on in the morning (Delete 'So'?)
Let people talk to it all day
And if they notice anything wrong I hope they won't say.. (Delete 'And'?)

(You only 'hit' THE Hook, "Brave Face", twice. Three is about minimum to drive that idea home as THE Hook, the main idea. The second 'hit' comes way at the end. I think I would remember those words, but position and the two-hit Structure are risky in that regard, memorability.)

A REWRITE:

(Verse I)

I put my Brave Face on in the morning
People talk to it all day
If they notice anything wrong they just don't say.

(Verse II)

When I go to bed in the evening
the darkness fills the room
I'm haunted by these feelings of being alone

(Chorus)

The aching and the longing
Never seem to disappear
When you lose someone so precious
When you lose someone so dear

(Verse III)

They say "Put one foot 'front of the other"
They say that "Time will heal your wounds"
It's been so long now I wonder if that's gonna do

(Chorus)

The aching and the longing
Never seem to disappear
When you lose someone so precious
When you lose someone so dear

(Instrumental Bridge, if time allows, if still needed.)

(Coda)

I put my Brave Face on in the morning
Let people talk to it all day
If they notice anything wrong I hope they don't say


There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com