I think you should have gone with a more manic arrangement prosody wise. The treatment you use is to lame for the subject.
Your lyrics are good. Push them.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold