Thanks Ricki. I'm kind of torn because the first person can indeed be expected to make it more emotional, but the third person seems to me to make it more visual, cinematic, making it easier for the listener to put himself in the character's shoes. I might just be imagining that.

Thanks for your advice about the bridge. Strangely, this was the part where the lyric didn't come first LOL. So I wasn't trying to fit the music to it. I was just trying to make it seem natural and conversational, hence the rather wordy first line, which just kind of rolls along with the melody. I do like the way your suggestion added the rhyme of much and touch.

Thanks again for the suggestions. Much appreciated.