Thanks for listening and commenting, Niteshift. Regarding the pitch issues - you should have heard this before I sprinkled Melodyne on it! Or rather , you shouldn't LOL. I'm sure you're right, and there are still pitch problems. Did you have a particular part or parts in mind? The first line of the chorus, where the voice rises is an obvious spot. It could actually be sung a whole octave lower, but that might tend to flatten out the melody. Deej described the vocals in that line as "magnetic." Of course, magnets can repel as well as attract smile

I'm not so sure I agree with the need for a hook, probably because I'm not sure that it is a folk song in the normal way. I spent quite a lot of my younger days in French and German speaking countries and the influence for this kind of song comes from the "chansonneurs" and "Liedermacher" I heard then, people like Yves Duteil and especially Reinhard Mey. Their songs were all about painting pictures and telling stories, usually in a conversational, almost intimate style.There is a very understated hook in the repetition of the second chorus and especially the last line "in that dimly remembered far off land.' Maybe "A Far Off Land" should be the title. I had expected people to comment that the title wasn't even in the song, which is usually a bit of a no-no.

I really appreciate all the comments and help I have had with this one. The comments here and at another forum I belong to have been all over the map - some like the tune, others think its not strong enough, some get the meaning straight away, others are mystified, some like the spare arrangement, others think it doesn't hold the listener. A lot to think about. Thanks everyone.