Doug,

There’s some good things going on with this. You’re trying to pull together a few different styles, which is challenging (for me, it’s difficult to do one style well—actually, any style well). I might suggest stripping this down a bit to only those elements you think work absolutely and then trying yo build it back up slowly and softly, one element at a time. There are times when everything gels in this tune, but others where the styles come together a bit too much. It's an ambitious sound you are going for--far beyond my production talents--but keep working with this one. I'm sure others with more production expertise might be able to chime in on some more helpful suggestions. Not sure if that helps, but I offer it humbly.

Kindest regards,

Deej