Hi Owen,

Cool Blues vibe here. I really like the melody jumps. I sincerely think Ricki's sug was a good one, as that phrase disconcerted me when I first heard the song, and that was before she or Neil had responded--it's not a big deal and I've been there myself--where we condition ourselves to just feel the phonetics which are perfect--but we don't want to disconcert our listeners and have them "pondering" that phrase instead of flowing along with the song--little things make a difference, especially with first impressions--an easy fix however!

You have a great lyric concept along with a unique Blues vibe with even more potential for sure--well written!

steady-eddie