This Lyric is: #005


I was having lunch with Elvis
At the Loch Ness Cafe
We were talking about the dreams we nailed
And the ones that got away
I said, "I wish I was a star like you
God, I love that rock n roll"
He said, "Finish up your soda, son
And your fries are gettin' cold"
The waitresses are beautiful
But they won't give me the time of day
Why do I keep on coming back
To the Loch Ness Cafe?

Odysseus drank his coffee, black
Then he set out on some trip
And when he thought no one was looking
Lincoln pocketed the tip
I pretended that I didn't see
I just minded my own business
'Cause I knew that the Invisible Man
Was the only other witness
Everybody stares at me
But when I catch 'em, they look away
Why do I keep on coming back
To the Loch Ness Cafe?

At a table in the corner
Where the lights were turned down low
I saw the Kennedys holding hands
With Marilyn Monroe
And J. Edgar Hoover, in disguise,
Was pretending to mop the floor
Near where Castro sat with Sigmund Freud
Comparing their cigars
The busboy says I'm crazy
And he hits me with his tray
Why do I keep on coming back
To the Loch Ness Cafe?

Einstein ordered after me
But they brought his dinner first
(The waiter took a short cut
Through an alternate universe)
In the men's room Adolph Hitler
Was complaining to the Pope
That Pontius Pilate got there first
And used up all the soap

Einstein had a hard time
Trying to calculate the tip
He was counting on his fingers
I could see him move his lips
And Hamlet had an omlet
While Ophelia ate a danish
She said, "You're driving me insane-ish
You're a cold fish with a death wish!"

I stopped in after midnight
For a little bite to eat
When I saw the Loch Ness dinosaur
Sitting in my favorite seat
She had a leather jacket on
And a Jimi Hendrix shirt
She was watching the display go 'round
With those oversized desserts
I said, "I thought that you were dead"
And she said, "No, I've just been away
But I can't resist the cheesecake
At the Loch Ness Cafe"

(c) Mike Borok (of New Middle Class)
and Joe Giacoio