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Mentor Harold Payne.
Q: You are well known and well liked in an industry that is all about back stabbing, nit picking and fair weather friends. How do you make and maintain positive relationships in this industry, and avoid a lot of the negativity that is so rampant? How might the rest of us follow in your footsteps in that regard?
Thank you for the kind words. If what you say is true, then it's largely based upon the fact that, first and foremost, I really enjoy what I do. My Grandfather used to say "If you enjoy what you do, you'll never work a day in your life." I have based many of my career decisions based upon that simple goal... will it make me happy? In a way it's quite selfish. I think it's actually a lot easier going through life feeling like I'm not actually competing with everyone. We all have something unique that we do and it's a matter of casting, timing, hard work and, yes, luck.
It's my nature to want to look for the good in everyone, even those that hide it well :-), and to be helpful and friendly when I can. But also, in my opinion, it happens to be good for your career. I truly believe that nice guys finish last, but not in the traditional meaning of that expression. I mean that they are the ones who will be around at the end, still standing, when the flakes have flaked and the selfish have self-destructed. (It's not a race, it's a journey.) I think if you're in it for the long haul you will be doing yourself a disservice by alienating people or being rude. It's a small community and it's better to have people rooting for you than against you.
So let's put this in a real context. Let's say that a producer calls me because he is looking for a singer with a sweet high voice with a strong falsetto. My voice is more on the semi-raspy, full bodied end of the spectrum. If I try to do the gig myself, of course my credibility with that person will be damaged and he won't call me the next time. If I tell him about one of my friends that has that type of voice, then I've done a favor for two people. My fellow singer will return the favor when the situation is reversed and the producer will call me again next time he needs someone. A rising tide floats all boats.
This doesn't mean that I need to sabotage my own career to help someone else.
Sometimes I need to get my foot in the door first (firmly establish my relationship) before I start turning other people onto it. It's like when you're on the airplane they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Then you can help somebody else.
It also doesn't mean that I can't be honest if someone asks my opinion--although I always make sure that they really want to hear my honest comments. You can find ways to be encouraging without being misleading. For example, if someone plays you a song that you don't totally like, you can mix in positive statements about what you do like with constructive suggestions about the other parts. That works both ways as well. I try to be open & not defensive if someone is making a sincere comment about something I've done.
When I do come across negativity I try not to linger there or get sucked into it. Ideally, I learn from the situation and, of course, get a song out of it!